The Future of Me

I'm taking this class.  The class is called BOLD and it's through Keller Williams MAPS Coaching.

BOLD stands for Business Objectives, a Life by Design.

There was an exercise yesterday that really got me attention.  The exercise might be something you've done before.  The participants sit quietly with their eyes closed while the leader guides them through creating this vision.  So I'm going to walk you through - of course your eyes will be open because you're reading.

(More than the exact words used by the instructor I'm relaying this through my own experience of the exercise.)

Sitting with your eyes closed.  Breathing in and out quietly and slowly.  

You're walking on an old dirt road. The road is lined with trees and the trees narrow with the road.  It increasingly becomes more narrow and overgrown into little more than a walking path through this woods.  Then  the space opens a bit more. It's obvious this used to be a road, but having overgrown sufficiently enough there's no place for vehicles here anymore. 

As I walk I see a figure in the distance. (In the exercise this figure is me 40 years in the future).  I didn't meet an older me.  As I approached I noticed it was my grandpa.  During the exercise we didn't talk.  We didn't discuss what was going on now or what would happen in the future. I simply saw him working.  As I walked he continued to work - just as he had always done.

You have to know.  My grandpa was 70 years old when I was born.  He worked until he was 77.  I lived directly across the street from grandpa and remember the day that car was there.  He never had visitors who weren't family.  There was one guy - an old blind guy who came with his cane and spittoon.  We never went over if grandpa had visitors.  The day that car was parked there I ran over as soon as it was gone...I found a sad old man who had just been told he needed to retire.  What's a man worth if he can't work he said to me.

Back to my vision.  My path was the lined with people I knew.  All working.  My parents. My maternal grandparents.  Everybody just working.  Not sure any of them ever did me a favor along the way.  I would mow their lawns - all of them - and would sometimes take a break in the middle.  Seriously?  They allowed me to do that?  The work was an hour tops for a kid who didn't walk fast, and I took a break in the middle.  

Now as a 40 year old man I am sitting in a classroom for an exercise and all I see is them working.  Working hard. Working with their hands.  That was their example to me. That was just what they did. All of them. They didn't work out of need - they didn't need because they worked.  They didn't work to prove anything to anybody - their work proved them.

As a very self critical guy who analyzes and over analyzes almost every move I make I wonder.  Am I destroying their legacy when I lay in bed an extra half hour in the morning?  If I decide I'll do that tomorrow? Doesn't tomorrow bring enough of its own work that today's needs to be done right now?

When Friends Die

I wrote a while back about how I hate funerals.  I wrote it after attending a funeral I really felt I needed to attend, having skipped a few I should have attended.  

There's another thing I'm not fond of, and once again failed miserably.  It's visiting in the hospital.  I can do it right? I can do anything I want.  I have done it and that proves I can.  When it's someone you haven't seen in years, and maybe weren't super close to but still called friend, it's not something you should skip.

The problem with NOT visiting at the hospital is missing that chance.  So Roy had been in and out of the hospital and even a couple of nursing homes over the past couple of years.  His health hadn't been good for a while and so this last trip to the hospital everybody had to know there was a chance it would be his last. I didn't go, and now I can't.

Please don't think my callous when I say I won't be losing sleep.  I hadn't seen him in probably at least 3 years and he knew what I thought of him.  Sometimes it's good to leave things like that.  You don't always need a final farewell, or to be there when someone actually goes.  I wasn't ever really close to him or his family and I'm comfortable with how things were the last time we saw each other.  They'll be better the next time we see each other.

Here's the thing, and the reason for this.  Roy was a guy who would do anything he could for almost anybody.  He was one of a handful of people who helped me move the last time I moved.  That was a bit more than 6 years ago.  Matter of fact- he called so early that morning wondering when we were going to start that he woke me up. 

If nothing else at all he was enthusiastic and tried hard.  Is there really anything more you can ask of anybody?  

So, Roy.  Sleep well.  Your heaven is the Montana mountains and rivers of your youth.  You talked of them like you were still there every weekend, may you find them just as you left them.  Not sure if heaven had a choir without a leader but I'm sure it's ok if you simply sit back and enjoy the music...not like that's your style.

Customer Loyalty Died

My cell phone carrier is T-Mobile. This post is about how to lose a customer. Every 22 months T-Mobile offers what they call a "full discount" on a new phone. To get the full discount you simply have to agree to a new 2 year contract. I called in October to make some changes and see about a new phone. I ended up with a couple of changes, a discount equal to about a month of service and no new phone. I also ended the conversation with a new 2 year contract and my full discount still intact and ready to use when I want. Now if a full discount requires a new contract, and I update the contract without utilizing the discount, I should be able to get a new phone at any time without a contract extension, right? I mean I already did that part. NO! If you do a new contract and don't use the discount at that time you will AGAIN be required to extend the contract in order to utilize the discount. What sort of BS is that? First a new customer already gets a better deal on everything and then a customer who has been loyal for ten years gets hosed. The moral to the story? NEVER extend a contract with a phone company. You can take your number with you, so take it and your money from one to the next until they reward loyalty over new business. This will never happen so travel the companies and shop them hard. Play them against each other. I left Qwest about ten years ago for t-mobile because the qwest guy was like "if cheap minutes are all you care about go ahead"...now I care about other things yet I was duped into a worthless contract extension just 2 months ago and it's almost worth paying full price for a new phone to ensure I done spend another day with t-mobile than I have to.

Missing It?

We travel this earth every day of our lives.  From the day we're born until the day we die we learn, we live, learn to live and live to love.  Or something like that.

We begin by learning to crawl, then walk and finally run. Somewhere along the way we also learn to laugh, talk and some of us learn to sing.

Somewhere along the way we accept that what we are learning, or what we've learned, is actually real.  We learn numbers, letters, words and math.  We learn how to spell and never give a thought that the rest of the world spells the words the same way.  We write, we read and we speak - taking for granted as children that our communications will be widely understood. We never give thought, and we might be missing it.

We might be missing the opportunity to skip rather than walk or run.  Perhaps the sight of a grown adult crawling through the aisles of the grocery store seems too much to take, society doesn't exactly encourage us to be different.

If only more people invented the words they were using, as they speak, we could be confused about something worth being confused about. Imagine how difficult communication would be if we couldn't discern when a person we're talking to needs to use the toilet, and we keep them standing in front of us trying to understand.

We take our world very seriously, perhaps too seriously. Maybe we shouldn't go crawling through the aisles at the store, or invent our words as we speak, if we take it too seriously we might be missing it.

Found

I found an old journal from a communications class I took back around 2002.  I think I'm going to post some of the entries - for my own liking if nothing else.  I'm not sure exactly how I want to go about them so I think I'll make a label or group or however it works to keep them all in the same place.

Keep in mind they're my thoughts from 10 years ago, but you might realize my way of thinking doesn't change much.  I kind of liked reading through them and hope you will too.  If you don't it's ok - move on.
If you like something leave a comment.

I have a lot of random thoughts.  Some of them mean something and some don't.  I'm not sure if I'm safer to write them down this way or say them out loud - no difference maybe.  Tendency with me is if it runs through my brain it comes out my mouth. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's not.

Just the same keep your eyes open for the random thoughts of a casual observer and partaker of life. If you're sitting you ain't living.

Christmas with the parents

Mom and dad came for Christmas this year.  It was a surprise for several reasons.
First - sometimes they don't plan ahead much, and so travel this time of year is difficult.
Second - they're getting older and both had surgery in the past month so driving here in winter weather wouldn't have been a great idea.  Lack of planning means flying would be too expensive.
This left the bus - yep.  They got on the bus and rode more than 20 hours to spend Christmas with us.  The kids loved having them and so did I.
When was the last time someone did that for you?  That doesn't even mention the things they did for us while they were here, but simply getting to and from us for Christmas was more than I'd ever ask of them and they did it, and it was their idea.

Whatever you did for Christmas I hope it was meaningful to you.  Family is something we're stuck with. Some are better than others and some are fantastic.  Irreplaceable even.  That's my parents - irreplaceable.  I wouldn't trade them for any others if I could.  Sure was nice having them here.  Those times are too few and far between - and the kids loved every minute of them being here.

Rules for Living

So I've read several lists, by notorious and famous people, of rules for living.  After some thought I decided there's some validity to creating such a list.

Indeed the value isn't in the list itself, but rather in the self-discipline of actually living by the list...and if it's a list of rules to live by I really need to be mindful of living by it right?

My list isn't those things I do automatically each day, and some of them I don't even do well on a regular basis.

Grandpa always said "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise".  I know this wasn't grandpa's saying, but he's where I heard it.  Not something I'm great at, but there's value to it for sure.

Exercise is good for your body of course, and your mind and even your emotional well being.  Exercise gets your juices flowing and keeps your body healthy and feeling alive. 

Eat well.  Three meals a day isn't eating well.  If you're overweight and cutting meals in your attempts to lose weight what you might not realize is that you're destroying your efforts.  There's no good to come from skipping meals and not eating enough food during the day.  Your body is an engine that needs fuel.  Food is your fuel - don't cheat yourself of 6-8 meals per day.

Work hard.  It doesn't matter what you do, work hard at doing it.  I've always been told it doesn't matter what you do be the best at it. If you're a boxcar hobo be the best boxcar hobo there ever was...and if you're a doctor be the best doctor ever.

Play.  What's life without some enjoyment?  Don't get me wrong, I love working and I love working out.  I might enjoy both of those things more than I like sleeping even.That said there's nothing like a break from normal, or reality, and taking some much needed time off.

There's an acronym - HALT - that fits for maintaining your emotional health and stability.  Never allow yourself to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  One of these things is easy to maintain a sense of sanity.  Two of them is more difficult. If you're three of them all at the same time I'd say seek a friend and do it now. Do whatever you need to do in order to protect yourself from these things, and do your best to never even be 2 of them at any given time.

It's not an exhaustive list, but it's a start.  Do these things faithfully and then add what you feel is important to you.  Drink in moderation, don't smoke or do other drugs, play and work equally hard, dance like nobody will ever watch you and love like there is no tomorrow.