I don't like funerals

As much as I don't like funerals I attended one Saturday that I really appreciated.  It was for the wife of a guy I know.  The guy is Frank Guliuza, and his wife Kathy had died in September. 

I was shocked and surprised at the low attendance.  It had been a while since I had seen Frank, and didn't even realize he had moved out of the state and it was indeed the third such service for Kathy.  Just the same Frank was such an influential person inside the local Southern Baptist community as well as Weber State University and the Utah republican party I did expect a pretty packed house.  Made it seem all the more important to have been there.

I've skipped a number of funerals I really should have attended.  People who I knew better, and who meant more to me than either Frank or Kathy, and yet I didn't attend the funeral.  Today I'm ashamed to say I skipped funerals when the family left behind was going to continue to be in my life, and that should never have happened.  Won't happen again.

Here's what I learned from this latest. 
First - the funeral isn't supposed to be fun or enjoyable. 
Second - attending the funeral isn't always about the person who died. Sometimes your respects to the family remaining is much more important (maybe even change the sometimes to always)
Finally - The funeral is never a place to be seen for the sake of being seen

I won't be skipping any more funerals, at least local funerals where logistics of getting there don't prohibit me going. I'll be more mindful of paying my respects to the family left behind - I have been sincerely lacking in that in the past.  If indeed we are all in this together then we always need to make sure people know what they mean to you, and being there in their time of grief is among the important times for that.